Anonymous asked: I'm a firm believer in God, I wouldn't have made it this far without Him, but I can't shake this urge for suicide. I've struggled with it since I was little when I'd cut myself on the play ground with glass at recess. I'm 17 now with really bad SAD, and it gets worse every winter. It's starting to be winter now and I already want to leave this earth. I don't know if I can make it..
I am sorry that you are going through this and I’m glad that God has helped you along the way.
I used to feel very depressed when I used to see it rain I would look through the window pane and see the drops of water and I felt that those were tears from within my soul.
I attempted suicide 3 times and never accomplished the task. I didn’t know then but God was with me. God never gives you more then you can carry. There is something always within that prohibits us moving forward. It took me a long time to finally establish a relationship with God and get through all of these “nightmares”. I have found true peace, but that is all through understanding what my true purpose was. We all have the same purpose and that is to worship, love, and honor God. Once you understand and feel Gods true love for you then God grows within us and we diminish. We set aside the flesh to honor God. Depression and other psychological disorders all come from bondage, I had to learn this the hard way. Everyday lift up your hands and thank God for everything He gives you. Worship God even if you do not feel like doing it. Even if it’s 30 seconds do this. Remember that we need to learn how to dance in the storm. Ask God to free you from this bondage you have the power to tie, bind, and cast out the enemy in the name of Jesus. Don’t let the enemy fool you into thinking you have “S.A.D.” I have far too many testimonies that prove Gods power. But you must believe in God’s power. The next step is to tell those who have hurt you that you forgive them, even if you don’t feel it in your heart. Then ask those you have hurt to forgive you. This is will begin the healing process in not only you but you forgave. God loves you so much and has already paid the price for you but you have to let go of the baggage. Yeah, I know more easily said then done. I’ve been those shoes. I went through therapy, consulars, support groups, different pills, and hospitalizations… But nothing solved it…but God did. No more pills, no depression, no consulars, or other. Just….. God. Trust in him. Your healing depends on your faith. BELIEVE.